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Katherine

Questioning if I’m bi and does she like me

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Hi, well I have a problem. I’m a 19 year old girl and my whole life I was sure that I’m straight. So in october I met this girl and we became friends, about a month later I realized I had a crush on her. She is bi but has a boyfriend. So in November I was questioning my sexuality I wasn’t sure if I’m bi cuz I don’t know if I could really be an a relationship with a girl and also she is the only girl I ever liked. We became pretty good friends and now a few days ago I was over at her place and we talked a lot. She told me that she has a crisis and wants a girlfriend and is thinking about breaking up with her bf. So that’s when I came out to her and told her that I’m questioning if I’m bi. Later she also told me that I’m really cute and we kinda joked about hooking up and getting married. So today I have been questioning my sexuality the whole day I don’t know if she just sees me as a friend or if I have a chance and I don’t even know if I would want to be in a serious relationship with her although I really like her. And now she texted me saying that she has a really bad gay crisis as she called it and I told her I had the same problem oh and for some reason I had a panic attack when she texted me that. So I guess she just sees me as a friend who is going through similar problems. And I asked her if she wants to hang out and talk about it cuz it always helps me to talk about those thing and she just said we will see. So now I feel like I said something wrong but she texted me first about it so I thought maybe she wanted to talk. Basically I need help figuring out if I am really bi and if I could be in a relationship with a girl and also what do you guys think is there a chance she likes me?

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On 1/24/2019 at 5:41 PM, Katherine said:

Basically I need help figuring out if I am really bi and if I could be in a relationship with a girl and also what do you guys think is there a chance she likes me?

From what I read, I guess she might be hinting you that she is fond of you too. 

"if I could be in a relationship with a girl" - never try never know. And it's better than regretting it in the future. I would say just follow your feelings.

I had a very close friend back then (11 years ago) when I was training in the national service. I spent a lot of time with her despite being in rival teams, I go to her team dorm all the time, I sleep in her bed, she fanned me using cardboard and all sweet stuff you could possibly imagine.

I had a crush on her later on but I pretended nothing because well we human hate losing someone/something so we dare not to step forward. I wasn't doubting my sexuality as I always knew I like girls.

We were so close, but one day she shut me down, I didn't know what I did wrongly. I tried all ways to find it out. I was so heartbroken until the day we separated after the training was completed. Time flies and my broken heart healed. Two years later, after we all have our own life, she confessed to me that in order to protect herself from feeling sad leaving me after the training ends (our hometowns are far apart), she chose to keep a distance from me while we still in the camp.

While she did not explicitly tell me that she likes me, during the two-years-later-confession, she told me she "fell in love with her sister's friend who is a lesbian" but she stopped herself from thinking about "her" because her final destiny is to marry a man due to culture and perceptions. I accepted whatever she said and never confessed my feelings for her (back then) until today.

As with my current girlfriend, I told myself not to play the game anymore or else I would regret it. So, I confessed to her 7 years ago when I had crush on her, and that's the best decision I've ever made.

I know a lot of people would choose to stay in current comfort zone. But my advice is please follow your feelings but you must expect the worst outcome to minimise disappointments! Good luck! 

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