Alana is Introducing Herself

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Alana

Rainbow Members
May 6, 2018
9
6
3
Hi everybody! I'm Alana.

I have the unfortunately weird handle of alana_is_tooting on the mastodon instance. I honestly have no idea what I was thinking that day except, "oh yeah I should probably come up with a new username because my old one on tusk.social was based on my deadname." It makes for an interesting naming scheme, but it's kind of a ridiculous amount of characters for a mastodon handle.

So, I'm a 35-year-old bisexual trans woman. I kinda quietly thought of myself as nonbinary for a long time even before I really started really questioning my gender identity, and honestly sometimes I think I might still be nonbinary, but I've realized that I am definitely a woman and I am transitioning. I'm married and it's a monogamous relationship. My wife and I have probably the cutest baby that ever existed, and somehow, some way, we're planning on having a second kid, either by delaying HRT (bleh) or freezing sperm (flying money emoji). We call ourselves "Mom Team."

Oh yeah, I think my new schtick may be to use parenthetical emoji descriptions instead of actually using emoji (sticks out toungue). We'll see how long this lasts.

I am still mostly closeted. The people I have told have all been really good about it, though. On Facebook, I changed my gender to "*screams internally*", my pronouns to "they", and my name to Lane, which is my wife's replacement for her one-syllable nickname for me that just so happens to be gender-neutral. Honestly it's kind  of amazing that there are people I know who haven't figured out that *something* is up with my gender identity. I figured that maybe easing people into the idea that my name is Lane would make it easier to call me Alana later on, and if they don't, Lane is close enough. Some days I just want to throw caution to the wind and go out in public as myself.

I am a software developer. I went back to get my degree over the past few years and specialized in infosec. I'm currently trying to get a better-paying job in said field, but I'm flailing a little bit where it comes to the test project this one place is having me do, so I may just wind up looking for another programming job if this falls through.

I used to do music stuff. I was a bassist in a somewhat jokey band, and when I wasn't doing that I would work on angsty, synthy  stuff. I also played trumpet sometimes.

My wife and I are the only white people in the leadership collective of our local BlackLivesMatter chapter. Although our roles are more in the background, we do still plan to step down once the group reaches a decent capacity. We've unfortunately had trouble with building said capacity over the past three years of our existence thanks to some odd tactics used by the local "progressive" umbrella group that tries to eat up all the other local groups in South Carolina. We have dubbed them the "beardy white man club."

Anyway, that's probably way more than anyone would ever want to know about me. (heart)
 

Raphael

Rainbow Members
May 6, 2018
24
17
3
Welcome to the forum Alana!

I can completely relate to the username thing. I had a whole poll and debate on my new username on masto because my old one was also related to my deadname as well as many bad memories. I ended up with a really basic username which is just my name

Gender is very complex and I'm glad you're discovering yourself! And yeah, coming out can be quite complex as well. If you ever do, I hope all goes well and if you need extra support I'm sure we as a community will be here to support you as well.

I enjoy your schtick! Very different and unique to see text rather than emojis!

Hope to chat with you more and build community together!
 

flye

Administrator
Staff member
May 1, 2018
45
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Rainbow
lgbt.io

Hey 1@Alana[/USER], thanks for your effort to write this introduction! It's a good read to know who you are! You really did introduce yourself well! I think the best thing with your introduction is that you know who you are. I think, as they said, the dilemmas are normally for under 30 (I am near 30 but I am still in a lot of dilemmas haha!).

It looks like you have a very lovely family yourself. Although I may not like kids myself, I know how much happiness it may bring to couples that truly love children.

And BTW, I am also closeted, well, maybe semi-closeted, depends how you look at it or weigh it. Many of my friends and my siblings know who I really am. I think they are not the toughest people to confess to. The hardest part is to have my parents to know/accept who I am. But I guess it's nearly impossible.

I enjoy your schtick! Very different and unique to see text rather than emojis!
I do agree. You get to read it out and imagine. 

 

Alana

Rainbow Members
May 6, 2018
9
6
3

Hey 1@Alana[/USER], thanks for your effort to write this introduction! It's a good read to know who you are! You really did introduce yourself well! I think the best thing with your introduction is that you know who you are. I think, as they said, the dilemmas are normally for under 30 (I am near 30 but I am still in a lot of dilemmas haha!).
It's amazing what can be accomplished whilst avoiding doing something else. I was supposed to be working on an infosec project all day yesterday. That did not happen.

And there are so many dilemmas still, it seems like. I think I wound up extending my twenties by a lot such that I'm a young to mid-range millennial in an old millennial's body.

And BTW, I am also closeted, well, maybe semi-closeted, depends how you look at it or weigh it. Many of my friends and my siblings know who I really am. I think they are not the toughest people to confess to. The hardest part is to have my parents to know/accept who I am. But I guess it's nearly impossible.
I was lucky to get my parents and my mother-in-law on board. I think it helped that there were family friends on both sides that had transitioned in the past. It's the extended families I'm worried about, though. I'm not particularly close to mine, but my wife is to hers, and I don't want to drive a wedge into their relationships.